Canadian editorial humor directed at US



This is Canada ’s Top Ten List of America ’s Stupidity.) 



10) Only in America...could politicians talk about the greed of the rich at 
a $35,000.00-a-plate campaign fund-raising event. 

9) Only in America...could people claim that the government still discriminates 
against black Americans when they have a black President, a black Attorney 
General, and roughly 20% of the federal workforce is black while only 12% of the 
population is black.  40% of all federal entitlements go to black Americans – 3X 
the rate that go to whites, 5X the rate that go to Hispanics!

8) Only in America...could they have had the two people most responsible for 
our tax code, Timothy Geithner (the former head of the Treasury Department) and Charles 
Rangel (who once ran the Ways and Means Committee), BOTH turn out to be tax 
cheats who are in favor of higher taxes.



7) Only in America...can they have terrorists kill people in the name of Allah
and have the media primarily react by fretting that Muslims might be harmed 
by the backlash.

6) Only in America...would they make people who want to legally become 
American citizens wait for years in their home countries and pay tens of 
thousands of dollars for the privilege, while they discuss letting anyone who
sneaks into the country illegally just 'magically' become American citizens. 

5) Only in America...could the people who believe in balancing the budget and 
sticking by the country's Constitution be thought of as "extremists."



4) Only in America...could you need to present a driver's license to cash a 
check or buy alcohol, but not to vote. 

3) Only in America...could people demand the government investigate whether 
oil companies are gouging the public because the price of gas went up when 
the return on equity invested in a major U.S. oil company (Marathon Oil) is less
than half of a company making tennis shoes (Nike).



2) Only in America...could the government collect more tax dollars from the 
people than any nation in recorded history, still spend a Trillion dollars more 
than it has per year - for total spending of $7-Million PER MINUTE, and complain 
that it doesn't have nearly enough money.



1) Only in America...could the rich people - who pay 86% of all income taxes - be 
accused of not paying their "fair share" by people who don't pay any income taxes at all.

The Architect of Destruction By Maureen Scott

AMAZING ESSAY!

Maureen Scott is an ardent American patriot who was born in Pittsburgh , PA , and retired to Richmond , VA , in 2000. Free from the nine-to-five grind of writing for employers and clients, she began writing political commentary to please herself and express her convictions. Our Pledge of Allegiance, a military band playing the National Anthem, and the wisdom of our Founding Fathers, inspire her passion and views. Her life is guided by a firm belief that truth is the most important virtue, and that God knows what He is doing with her.

The Architect of Destruction By Maureen Scott

Obama appears to be a tormented man filled with resentment, anger, and disdain for anyone of an opinion or view other than his. He acts in the most hateful, spiteful, malevolent, vindictive ways in order to manipulate and maintain power and control over others. Perhaps, because, as a child, he grew up harboring an abiding bitterness toward the U.S. that was instilled in him by his family and mentors…it seems to have never left him.

It is not the color of his skin that is a problem in America .

Rather it is the blackness that fills his soul and the hollowness in his heart where there should be abiding pride and love for this country.

Think: Have we ever heard Obama speak lovingly of the U.S.or its people, with deep appreciation and genuine respect for our history, our customs, our sufferings and our blessings? Has he ever revealed that, like most patriotic Americans, he gets “goose bumps” when a band plays “The Star Spangled Banner,” or sheds a tear when he hears a beautiful rendition of “ America the Beautiful?” Does his heart burst with pride when millions of American flags wave on a National holiday – or someone plays “taps” on a trumpet? Has he ever shared the admiration of the military, as we as lovers of those who keep us free, feel when soldiers march by? It is doubtful because Obama did not grow up sharing our experiences or our values. He did not sit at the knee of a Grandfather or Uncle who showed us his medals and told us about the bravery of his fellow troops as they tramped through foreign lands to keep us free. He didn’t have grandparents who told stories of suffering and then coming to America , penniless, and the opportunities they had for building a business and life for their children.

Away from this country as a young child, Obama didn’t delight in being part of America and its greatness. He wasn’t singing our patriotic songs in kindergarten, or standing on the roadside for a holiday parade and eating a hot dog, or lighting sparklers around a campfire on July 4th as fireworks exploded over head, or placing flags on the grave sites of fallen and beloved American heroes.

Rather he was separated from all of these experiences and doesn’t really understand us and what it means to be an American. He is void of the basic emotions that most feel regarding this country and insensitive to the instinctive pride we have in our national heritage. His opinions were formed by those who either envied us or wanted him to devalue theUnited States and the traditions and patriotism that unites us.

He has never given a speech that is filled with calm, reassuring, complimentary, heartfelt statements about all the people in the U.S. Or one that inspires us to be better and grateful and proud that in a short time our country became a leader, and a protector of many. Quite the contrary, his speeches always degenerate into mocking, ridiculing tirades as he faults our achievements as well as any critics or opposition for the sake of a laugh, or to bolster his ego. He uses his Office to threaten and create fear while demeaning and degrading any American who opposes his policies and actions. A secure leader, who has noble self-esteem and not false confidence, refrains from showing such dread of critics and displaying a cocky, haughty attitude.

Mostly, his time seems to be spent causing dissension, unrest, and anxiety among the people of America , rather than uniting us (even though he was presented to us as the “Great Uniter”). He creates chaos for the sake of keeping people separated, envious, aggrieved and ready to argue. Under his leadership Americans have been kept on edge, rather than in a state of comfort and security. He incites people to be aggressive toward, and disrespectful of, those of differing opinions. And through such behavior, Obama has lowered the standards for self-control and mature restraint to the level of street-fighting gangs, when he should be raising the bar for people to strive toward becoming more considerate, tolerant, self-disciplined, self-sustaining, and self-assured.

Not a day goes by that he is not attempting to defy our laws, remove our rights, over-ride established procedures, install controversial appointees, enact divisive mandates, and assert a dictatorial form of power.

· Never has there been a leader of this great land who used such tactics to harm and hurt the people and this country.

· Never have we had a President who spoke with a caustic, evil tongue against the citizenry rather than present himself as a soothing, calming and trustworthy force.

· Never, in this country, have we experienced how much stress one man can cause a nation of people – on a daily basis!

Obama has promoted the degeneration of peace, civility, and quality of cooperation between us. He thrives on tearing us down, rather than building us up. He is the Architect of the decline of America , and the epitome of a Demagogue.

© Maureen Scott

  WANT A FREE HOUSE?

I was in my neighborhood restaurant this morning and was seated behind a
group of jubilant individuals celebrating the coming implementation of the
health care bill. I could not finish my breakfast. This is what ensued:

They were a diverse group of several races and both sexes. I heard a young
man exclaim, “Isn’t Obama like Jesus Christ? I mean, after all, he is healing
the sick.”

A young woman enthusiastically proclaimed, “Yeah, and he does it for free. I
cannot believe anyone would think that a free market would work for health
care.”

Another said, “The stupid Republicans want us all to starve to death so they
can inherit all of the power.  Obama should be made a Saint for what he did
for those of us less fortunate.”

At this, I had more than enough. I arose from my seat, mustering all the
restraint I could find, and approached their table. “Please excuse me; may I
impose upon you for one moment?”

They smiled and welcomed me to the conversation. I stood at the end of their
table, smiled as best I could and began an experiment.

“I would like to give one of you my house. It will cost you no money and I
will pay all of the expenses and taxes for as long as you live there. Anyone
interested?”

They looked at each other in astonishment. “Why would you do something like
that?” asked a young man, “There isn’t anything for free in this world.”

They began to laugh at me, as they did not realize this man had just made my
point.

“I am serious, I will give you my house for free, no money whatsoever. Anyone
interested?”

In unison, a resounding “Yeah” fills the room.

“Since there are too many of you, I will have to make a choice as to who
receives this money-free bargain.”

I noticed an elderly couple was paying attention to the spectacle unfolding
before their eyes, the old man shaking his head in apparent disgust.

“I tell you what; I will give it to the one of you most willing to obey my
rules.”

Again, they looked at one another, an expression of bewilderment on their
faces.

The perky young woman asked, “What are the rules?”

I smiled and said, “I don’t know. I have not yet defined them. However, it is
a free home that I offer you.”

They giggled amongst themselves, the youngest of which said, “What an old
coot. He must be crazy to give away his home. Go take your meds, old man.” I
smiled and leaned into the table a bit further. “I am serious, this is a
legitimate offer.”

They gaped at me for a moment.

“I’ll take it you old fool. Where are the keys?” boasted the youngest among
them.

“Then I presume you accept ALL of my terms then?” I asked.

The elderly couple seemed amused and entertained as they watched from the
privacy of their table. “Oh yeah!  Where do I sign up?”

I took a napkin and wrote, “I give this man my home, without the burden of
financial obligation, so long as he accepts and abides by the terms that I shall
set forth upon consummation of this transaction.”I signed it and handed it to the young man who eagerly scratched out his signature.

“Where are the keys to my new house?” he asked in a mocking tone of voice.

All eyes were upon us as I stepped back from the table, pulling the keys from
pocket and dangling them before the excited new homeowner.

“Now that we have entered into this binding contract, witnessed by all of
your friends, I have decided upon the conditions you are obligated to adhere to
from this point forward. You may only live in the house for one hour a day. You
will not use anything inside of the home. You will obey me without question or
resistance. I expect complete loyalty and admiration for this gift I bestow upon
you. You will accept my commands and wishes with enthusiasm, no matter the
nature. Your morals and principles shall be as mine. You will vote as I do,
think as I do and do it with blind faith. These are my terms. Here are your
keys.”

I reached the keys forward and the young man looked at me dumbfounded.

“Are you out of your mind?  Who would ever agree to those ridiculous
terms?” the young man appeared irritated.

“You did when you signed this contract before reading it, understanding it
and with the full knowledge that I would provide my conditions only after you
committed to the agreement.”

The elderly man chuckled as his wife tried to restrain him. I was looking at
a now silenced and bewildered group of people.

“You can shove that stupid deal up your a** old man. I want no part of it!”
exclaimed the now infuriated young man.

‘You have committed to the contract, as witnessed by all of your friends. You
cannot get out of the deal unless I agree to it. I do not intend to let you free
now that I have you ensnared. I am the power you agreed to. I am the one you
blindly and without thought chose to enslave yourself to. In short, I am your
Master.”

At this, the table of celebrating individuals became a unified group against
the unfairness of the deal.

After a few moments of unrepeatable comments and slurs, I revealed my true
intent.

“What I did to you is what this administration and congress did to you with
the health care legislation. I easily suckered you in and then revealed the real
cost of the bargain. Your folly was in the belief that you can have something
you did not earn, and for that which you did not earn, you willingly allowed
someone else to think for you. Your failure to research, study and inform
yourself permitted reason to escape you.  You have entered into a trap from
which you cannot flee. Your only chance of freedom is if your new Master gives
it to you. A freedom that is given can also be taken away.  Therefore, it
is not freedom at all.”

With that, I tore up the napkin and placed it before the astonished young
man. “This is the nature of your new health care legislation.”

I turned away to leave these few in thought and contemplation — and was
surprised by applause.The elderly gentleman, who was clearly entertained, shook my hand
enthusiastically and said, “Thank you, Sir. These kids don’t understand Liberty.”

He refused to allow me to pay my bill as he said, “You earned this one. It is
an honor to pick up the tab.”

I shook his hand in thanks, leaving the restaurant somewhat humbled and
sensing a glimmer of hope for my beloved country.

Remember…  Four boxes keep us free: the soap box, the ballot box[elector's not the "voter's],  the jury box, and the cartridge box.

Author Unknown

http://www.mainstreet.com/article/moneyinvesting/credit/debt/creepy-new-credit-card-scam?page=1

http://www.mainstreet.com/article/moneyinvesting/credit/debt/creepy-new-credit-card-scam?page=1

Air Force expert on Benghazi.

"Hands" Handley is a well-respected USAF fighter pilot. Here is his short resume of accomplishments.

Colonel Phil "Hands" Handley is credited with the highest speed air-to-air gun kill in the history of aerial combat. He flew operationally for all but 11 months of a 26-year career, in aircraft such as the F-86 Sabre, F-15 Eagle, and the C-130A Hercules. Additionally, he flew 275 combat missions during two tours in Southeast Asia in the F- 4D and F-4E. His awards include 21 Air Medals, 3 Distinguished Flying Crosses, and the Silver Star.


Here is what Col. Handley wrote in response to Panetta and Dempsey's claims there was no time to send help to Benghazi .

---------------------------------------

Betrayal in Benghazi.
Phil "Hands" Handley Colonel, USAF (Ret.)

The combat code of the US Military is that we don't abandon our dead or wounded on the battlefield. In US Air Force lingo, fighter pilots don't run off and leave their wingmen. If one of our own is shot down, still alive and not yet in enemy captivity, we will either come to get him or die trying.


Among America's fighting forces, the calm, sure knowledge that such an irrevocable bond exists is priceless. Along with individual faith and personal grit, it is a sacred trust that has often sustained hope in the face of terribly long odds.


The disgraceful abandonment of our Ambassador and those brave ex-SEALs who fought to their deaths to save others in that compound is nothing short of dereliction-of-duty.

Additionally, the patently absurd cover-up scenario that was fabricated in the aftermath was an outright lie in an attempt to shield the President and the Secretary of State from responsibility.


It has been over eight months since the attack on our compound in Benghazi . The White House strategy, with the aid of a "lap dog" press, has been to run out the clock before the truth is forthcoming.


The recent testimonies of the three "whistle blowers" have re-opened the subject and hopefully will lead to exposure and disgrace of those responsible for this embarrassing debacle. It would appear that the most recent firewall which the Administration is counting on is the contention "that there were simply no military assets that could be brought to bear in time to make a difference" mainly due to the unavailability of tanker support for fighter aircraft.


This is simply BS, regardless how many supposed "experts" the Administration trot out to make such an assertion.

The bottom line is that even if the closest asset capable of response was half-way around the world, you don't just sit on your penguin ass and do nothing.

The fact is that the closest asset was not half-way around the world, but as near as Aviano Air Base, Italy, where two squadrons of F-16Cs are based.

Consider the following scenario (all times Benghazi local): When Hicks in Tripoli receives a call at 9:40 P.M. from Ambassador Stevens informing him "Greg, we are under attack!" (his last words), Hicks immediately notifies all agencies and prepares for the immediate initiation of an existing "Emergency Response Plan."

At AFRICON, General Carter Ham attempts to mount a rescue effort, but is told to "stand down." By 10:30 P.M. an unarmed drone is overhead the compound and streaming live feed to various "Command and Control Agencies" so everyone watching that feed knew damn well what was going on.

At 11:30 P.M. Woods, Doherty and five others leave Tripoli, arriving in Benghazi at 1:30 A.M. on Wednesday morning, where they hold off the attacking mob from the roof of the compound until they are killed by a mortar direct hit at 4:00 A.M.

So nothing could have been done, eh? Nonsense. If one assumes that tanker support really "was not available" what about this:

When at 10:00 P.M. AFRICON alerts the 31st TFW Command Post in Aviano Air Base, Italy, of the attack, the Wing Commander orders preparation for the launch of two F-16s and advises the Command Post at NAS Sigonella to prepare for hot pit refueling and quick turn of the jets.

By 11:30 P.M. two F-16Cs with drop tanks and each armed with five hundred 20 MM rounds are airborne. Flying at 0.92 mach they will cover the 522 nautical miles directly to NAS Sigonella in 1.08 hours. While in-route the flight lead is informed of the tactical situation, rules of engagement, and radio frequencies to use.

The jets depart Sigonella at 1:10 A.M. with full fuel load and cover the 377 nautical miles directly to Benghazi in 0.8 hours, arriving at 1:50 A.M. which would be 20 minutes after the arrival of Woods, Doherty and their team.

Providing that the two F-16s initial pass over the mob, in full afterburner at 200 feet and 550 knots did not stop the attack in its tracks, a few well placed strafing runs on targets of opportunity would assuredly do the trick.

Were the F-16s fuel state insufficient to return to Sigonelli after jettisoning their external drop tanks, they could easily do so at Tripoli International Airport, only one-half hour away.

As for those hand-wringing naysayers who would worry about IFR clearances, border crossing authority, collateral damage, landing rights, political correctness and dozens of other reasons not to act -- screw them. It is time our "leadership" get its priorities straight and put America's interests first.

The end result would be that Woods and Doherty would be alive. Dozens in the attacking rabble would be rendezvousing with "72 virgins" and a clear message would have been sent to the next worthless POS terrorist contemplating an attack on Americans that it is not really a good idea to "tug" on Superman's cape.

Of course all this depends upon a Commander In Chief more concerned with saving the lives of those he put in harm's way than getting his crew rested for a campaign fund raising event in Las Vegas the next day. It also depends upon a Secretary of State who actually understood "What difference did it make?" and a Secretary of Defense who was watching the feed from the drone and understood what the attack consisted of instead of making an immediate response that "One of the military tenants is that you don't commit assets until you fully understand the tactical situation."


YGBSM! ( You Gotta Be Shittin' Me)

Ultimately it comes down to the question of who gave that order to stand down? Whoever that coward turns out to be should be exposed, removed from office, and face criminal charges for dereliction of duty. The combat forces of the United States of America deserve leadership that really does "have their back" when the chips are down.


FOR THOSE OF YOU HAVE ACTUALLY TAKEN THE TIME TO READ THIS, DO ONE THING FOR ME AND FORWARD IT TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!! TO AVOID THIS HAPPENING AGAIN, WHOMEVER GAVE THE "STAND DOWN" ORDER NEEDS TO BE EXPOSED!!!!

Short Story from WW II 

Elmer Bendiner was a navigator in a B-17 during WW II.  He tells this story of a World War II bombing run over Kassel, Germany and the unexpected result of a direct hit on their fuel tanks:

"Our B-17, the 'Tondelayo', was barraged by flak from Nazi anti-aircraft guns.  That was not unusual, but on this particular occasion our gas tanks were hit.  Later, as I reflected on the miracle of a 20 millimeter shell piercing the fuel tank without touching off an explosion, our pilot, Bohn Fawkes, told me it was not quite that simple."

"On the morning following the raid, Bohn had gone down to ask our crew chief for that shell as a souvenir of unbelievable luck.  The crew chief told Bohn that not just one shell but 11 had been found in the gas tanks!  Eleven unexploded shells where only one was sufficient to blast us out of the sky.  It was as if the sea had been parted for us.  Even after 35 years, so awesome an event leaves me shaken, especially after I heard the rest of the story from Bohn."

"He was told that the shells had been sent to the armorers to be defused.  The armorers told him that Intelligence had picked them up. They could not say why at the time, but Bohn eventually sought out the answer."

"Apparently, when the armorers opened each of those shells, they found there was no explosive charge.  They were as clean as a whistle and just as harmless.  Empty? Not all of  them!  One contained a carefully rolled piece of  paper.  On it was a scrawl in Czech.   The  Intelligence people scoured our base for a man who could read Czech.   Eventually they found someone to decipher the note.  It read: 'This is all we can do for you now.'  "

Using a conquered people (the Czechs) as slave laborers was not such a good idea.

                                              E N D    O F    S T O R Y

Obama is scheduled to speak to the Nation Tuesday night. Whatever you do, do not watch or listen to him. Watch reruns of 'Breaking Bad,' or even the dreadful Kardashians, anything but him. When the ratings show that the Weather Channel did better, not blowing as much hot air, that Americans of all persuasions totally reject another fake intervention, he will be left alone in The White House talking to himself, and maybe the men in the white coats will come and take him and Kerry and Pelosi and Feinstein and Reid and the rest of these murdering hypocrites off to Guantanemo for the water cure!

I have been wondering about why Whites are racists,and no other race is...

Proud to be White

Michael Richards makes his point...

Michael Richards better known as Kramer

from TVs' Seinfeld does make a good point.

This was his defense speech in court

after making racial comments in his comedy act.
In it he raised a few interesting points...

Someone finally said it.

But how many are actually paying attention to this?

There are African Americans, Mexican Americans, Asian Americans,

Arab Americans, etc.
And then there are just Americans...

You pass me on the street and sneer in my direction.

You call me 'White boy', 'Cracker', 'Honkey', 'Whitey', 'Caveman'...

And that's OK...
But when I call you Nigger, Kike,

Towel head, Sand-nigger, Camel Jockey, Beaner, Gook, or Chink...

You call me a racist.

You say that whites commit a lot of violence against you...
So why are the ghettos the most dangerous places to live in?

You have the United Negro College Fund.

You have Martin Luther King Day.
You have Black History Month.
You have Cesar Chavez Day.
You have Yom Hashoah.
You have Ma'uled Al-Nabi.
You have the NAACP.
You have BET...

Imagine if we had WET

(White Entertainment Television)...

we'd be racists.

If we had a White Pride Day,

you would call us racists.

If we had White History Month,

we'd be racists.

If we had any organization for whites only to 'advance' OUR lives,

we'd be racists.

We have a Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, a Black Chamber of Commerce,

and then we just have the plain Chamber of Commerce.
Wonder who pays for that???

A white woman could not be in the

Miss Black American pageant,

but any color can be in the Miss America pageant.

If we had a college fund that only gave white students scholarships...

You know we'd be racists.

There are over 60 openly proclaimed

Black Colleges in the US ...
Yet if there were 'White colleges',

that would be a racist college.

In the Million Men March,

you believed that you were marching for your race and rights.
If we marched for our race and rights,

you would call us racists.

You are proud to be black, brown, yellow and orange,

and you're not afraid to announce it.
But when we announce our white pride,

you call us racists.

You rob us, carjack us, and shoot at us.
But,

when a white police officer shoots a black gang member or beats up a black drug dealer running from the law and posing a threat to society, you call him a racist.

I am proud...

But you call me a racist.

Why is it that only whites can be racists???

There is nothing improper

about this e-mail...
But let's see which of you are proud enough to send it on.
I sadly don't think many will.

That's why

we have LOST most of OUR RIGHTS

in this country.
We won't stand up for ourselves! 

BE PROUD

TO BE WHITE! 

It's not a crime YET...

But getting very close!

It is estimated that ONLY 5%

of those reaching this point in this

e-mail, will pass it on.

Are You A Pink Elephant? 
Once upon a time a pink elephant was born. He was so clearly different from the rest that soon the grey elephants started to distance themselves and ignore him. The little pink elephant felt very sad and rejected. He realized that in order to fit in with the rest of the herd he had to be just like them. So, he covered himself with mud and dirt until he became a dirty grey. Throughout the years he kept covering himself and hiding behind the dirt.
Then one day, rain began pouring down and washed away all the mud and dirt from his body. He was pink again! The grey elephants turned and started laughing at the sight of his obvious pinkness. As the laughter grew louder he realized that he was trying to fit into a group that would never understand him. He knew that he was different and that he needed to find a group of pink elephants just like him, where he would be accepted and learn to love himself as he was.
Imagine yourself as an “Elephant”, the largest land animal on earth. An elephant is too massive to miss. It has an enormous amount of power. If you were a “Pink Elephant” when you were born, then you are different from most of the people around you. People will think that you are a bit strange when they meet you and because of this you may try to hide your true self. You try as hard as possible to fit in, but people always notice you. Sometimes you will be admired for being different, but often you will be ridiculed. Then, you have one of two choices to make. Either you gather your strength and are proud that you are Pink or you try to convince everyone that you are exactly like them. Most choose the second option. It seems easier to just fit in.
The truth is that it doesn’t matter that people will laugh at you, think that you are weird, or feel your dreams seem totally unattainable - You must not listen to them. They are too entrenched in the limited herd mentality to see the greater possibilities that are available.
I travel around the world and teach (hidden) Pink Elephants to become themselves. I bring them together and show them that they are not alone. They come alive in the presence of others just like them. Keep in mind that all the great inventors and innovators were Pink Elephants. It takes a unique person to get to the moon, be a music icon or create personal computers. The herd is always afraid of new ideas, but unabashed “Pink Elephants” are never stopped. Pink Elephants live in a world of possibilities, not fear.
So start a Pink Elephant group in your community today and see your world change!
“What is different about you is what makes you special.”
Bernard Hiller

Wow, this is so darn TRUE... check it out!

http://www.tomatobubble.com/putin_obama.html#.UdsK_u7_q5g.email

The following sentence editorial appeared in the Peoria Journal Star:

"A pen in the hand of this president is far more dangerous than a gun in the hands of 200 million law-abiding citizens."


Then Clint Eastwood added his words:

"We Americans are so tired of being thought of as dumbasses by the rest of the world that we went to the polls this past November and removed all doubt."
Clint Eastwood

Brain transplant

In the hospital where a family member lay gravely ill, the relatives gathered in the waiting room. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.

"I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces. "The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, very risky, but it is the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the BRAIN."

The family members sat silently as they absorbed the news. After a time, someone asked, "How much will a brain cost?"

The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a Democrat's brain; $200 for a Republican's brain."

The moment turned awkward. Some of the Democrats actually had to try not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the Republicans. A man unable to control his curiosity, finally blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, "Why is the Democrat's brain so much more than a Republican's brain?"

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group, "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to price the Republicans' brains a lot lower because they're used."

Secret Service Insider Information on Presidents and First Ladies

Very interesting! ( I could've guessed at most of these, but it's interesting to have some confirmation from the real workers who dealt and deal with these folks daily)...

Note: A good book and worth reading:  "In The President's Secret Service (Behind the Scenes with Agents in the Line of Fire and the Presidents they Protect)" by Ronald Kessler.

It is very revealing and interesting reading.

-----------------------------------------------------

*Here are snippets from a book of "Impressions & Observations" of Secret Service personnel assigned to

guard U.S. Presidents/First Ladies, and Vice Presidents.

*JOHN & JACQUELINE KENNEDY :

*A philanderer of the highest order. * *She ordered the kitchen help to save all the left-over wine

during State dinner, which mixed with fresh wine and served again during the next White House occasion.*

*LYNDON & LADYBIRD JOHNSON

*Another philanderer of the highest order. In addition, LBJ was as crude as the day is long.*

*Both JFK and LBJ kept a lot of women in the White House for extramarital affairs, and both had set up "early

warning systems" to alert them if/when their wives were nearby. Both Kennedy & Johnson were promiscuous and

oversexed men. *

*She was either naive or just pretended to "not know" about her husband's many liaisons. *

*RICHARD & PAT NIXON ** *

*A "moral" man but very odd and weird, paranoid, etc. He had horrible relationship with his family, and in a way, was

almost a recluse.*

*She was quiet most of the time.*

*SPIRO AGNEW:

* Nice, decent man, everyone in the Secret Service was surprised about his downfall. *

*GERALD & BETTY FORD: ** *

*A true gentlemen who treated the Secret Service with respect and dignity. He had a great sense of humor.. *

*She drank a lot!*

*JIMMY & ROSALYN CARTER: ** *

*A complete phony who would portray one picture of himself to public and very different in private, e..g., would

be shown carrying his own luggage, but the suit cases were always empty; he kept empty ones just for photo op's.

Wanted the people to see him as pious and a non-drinker, but he and his family drank alcohol a lot. He had disdain

for the Secret Service, and was very irresponsible with the "football" nuclear codes. He didn't think it was a big deal

and would keep military aides at a great distance. Often does not acknowledge the presence of Secret Service

personnel assigned to serve him.*

*She mostly did her own thing.*

*RONALD & NANCY REAGAN: ** *

*The real deal --- moral, honest, respectful, and dignified. They treated Secret Service and everyone else with respect

and honor. Thanked everyone all the time. He took the time to know everyone on a personal level. *

*One "favorite" story which has circulated among the Secret Service personnel was an incident early in his

Presidency, when he came out of his room with a pistol tucked on his hip. The agent in charge asked: "Why the

pistol, Mr. President?" He replied, "In case you boys can't get the job done, I can help." It was common for him to

carry a pistol. When he met with Gorbachev, he had a pistol in his briefcase. Upon learning that Gary Hart was caught

with Donna Rice, Reagan said, "Boys will be boys, but boys will not be Presidents." [He obviously either did not

know or forgot JFK's and LBJ's sexcapades!]*

*She was very nice but very protective of the President; and the Secret Service was often caught in the middle. She tried

hard to control what the President ate, and he would say to the agent "Come on, you gotta help me out."

The Reagans drank wine during State dinners and special occasions only; otherwise, they shunned alcohol; the Secret

Service could count on one hand the times they were served wine during their "family dinner". For all the fake bluster of

the Carters, the Reagans were the ones who lived life as genuinely moral people.*

*GEORGE H. & BARBARA BUSH:

*Extremely kind and considerate Always respectful. Took great care in making sure the agents' comforts were taken care of.

They even brought them meals, etc. *One time Barbara Bush brought warm clothes to agents standing outside at Kennebunkport;

one agent who was given a warm hat, and when he tried to nicely say "no thanks" even though he was obviously freezing, President

Bush said "Son, don't argue with the First Lady, put the hat on.." He was the most prompt of the Presidents. He ran the

White House like a well-oiled machine.*

She ruled the house and spoke her mind.*

BILL & HILLARY CLINTON:

*Presidency was one giant party. Not trustworthy --- he was nice because he wanted everyone to like him, but to him life

is just one big game and party. Everyone knows of his sexuality.*

*She is another phony. Her personality would change the instant cameras were near. She hated with open disdain the

military and Secret Service. She was another one who felt people are there to serve her. She was always trying to keep

tabs on Bill Clinton.*

*ALBERT GORE:

*An egotistical ass, who was once overheard by his Secret Service detail lecturing his only son that he needed

to do better in school or he "would end up like these guys" --- pointing to the agents.*

*GEORGE W. & LAURA BUSH:

*The Secret Service loved him and Laura Bush. He was also the most physically "in shape" who had a very

strict workout regimen. The Bushes made sure their entire administrative and household staff understood to respect

and be considerate of the Secret Service. KARL ROVE was the one who was the most caring of the Secret Service in

the administration.*

*She was one of the nicest First Ladies, if not the nicest; she never had any harsh word to say about anyone.*

*BARACK & MICHELLE OBAMA:

*" Clinton all over again" - hates the military and looks down on the Secret Service. He is egotistical and cunning; looks

you in the eye and appears to agree with you, but turns around and does the opposite---untrustworthy. He has temper tantrums.

* She is a complete bitch, who hates anybody who is not black; hates the military; and looks at the Secret Service as

servants.